On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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