I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
