I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
