we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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