dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize