I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
