Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
