i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
