i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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