3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
