Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
