i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
