put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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