I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
