he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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