I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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