Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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