She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
