The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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