Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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