It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
