margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
