Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
