My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
