I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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