my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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