Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
