just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
