I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
