census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
