I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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