One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
