I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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