there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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