i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
