i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
