Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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