Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
