so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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