We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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