I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
