then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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