remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
