I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
