omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
