didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
