I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i dont even know how to be here
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
