she was so not down for the gang bang
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
