I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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