Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
