Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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