Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think your dad took our porno
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
