will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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